Couples List, Emmett and Rosalie
by there'snothingwrongwithwhoIam
Summary: Its a list of things that Cullen's kids can't do, and i star with Emmett and Rosali, Why? because i want,i hope you enjoy it


**Hi, im Linette and this is my First Story =D good for me, i know, i hope you like it, b/c i love to write it =D you gone a find some mistakes ok, so be nice with me =D**

**Rose POV**

My dear husband Emmett and I were and our room doing nothing in particular, when Carlisle ask us to join him and the rest of the family in the living room, Em give me a odd look like something its really bad, and roll his eyes he say.

-C'mon Rose lets go- and he takes my hand and we go down stairs.

All the family was there includes that stupid new pet (AKA Jacob Black) they were looking, and I fell like something's its going to happen, then Nessie come to me and she said.

-Aunt Rose- she look at me with her beautiful brown eyes- Carlisle and Esme make a list of things that you and Uncle Emmett can't do, don't worry aunt they gonna make list for every couple- and then she give a really big smile.

_I can't believe this, my family, my parents they are given us a list of things that WE CANT DO, are you fucking kidding me? This is serious? _And then I saw Edward trying to hide a smile- what's so funny Eddie? Do you already read yours? Or you already think about the list of Nessie and the dog, I mean Jacob? - _And that's how you kill Edward's spirit, but he knows that I'm not agreeing with that relation ship, can you imagine that? My Niece, my beautiful and gorgeous Niece Nessie, with that horrible, smelly, hairy, stupid beast Jacob Black, no nooo way, I mean he his a wolf, for God sick, a WOLF_, then the voice of my sexy husband makes me back from my daydreams.

-So? You gonna say it or what?-he was totally bored, _but so sexy_- we were busy- he laugh- c'mon just spit it-

-OK- Say Carlisle- This is it. Read out loud Rose-

And he give me a piece of paper, it was some think like this.

**Emmett and Rose's List.**

_**Emmett and Rosalie aren't allowed to…**_

**Have Sex in public places, again.**

-Well we don't gonna let you guys caught us again- say Emmett.

-Rose- says Esme- Keep reading.

**Esme's furniture is sacred, so don't mess with them.**

-Hey- I star it- we already said that we sorry- and my husband nodded.

**Go to La Push.**

-How wants to go? - I said.

-I want to go- said Emmett.

-Why? - I ask.

-I don't know, just to see the view- and then he start to play with my hair.

**Say that Rosalie its better mechanic that Jacob.**

-But that's true- said Emmett- this list it's so unfair- _I'm agree. _

-Stop being such a brat Emmett- Said Jasper, _stupid Mrs. Chill._

**Sing the DOG version of Smelly cat. **

-I love that song- I said, and then I star to sing- Smelly Dog, Smelly dog, Why they keep feed in you?- and Emmett sing with me- oooooh smelly dog!!! Smelly doooooooooooooooooooog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- _Oh I love this man/vampire._

-Enough!!!- said Esme. - Keep reading- _its Esme, it's your Mom, you love her, just do what she says._

**Sing and Dance Cha-cha.**

-Why? - Emmett asks, he love dance the cha-cha.

-Because it's too weird- say Alice. _Whatever Miss Trelawney _

**For the record: Jacob ISNT family's PET.**

-But I already buy him some pet toys for his birthday- I said in my cuties little voice.

**Keep your Toy's in your ROOM.**

-OK, Mommy- we said.

**Have a private moment in Edward's Volvo.**

-The Volvo? - I ask, _seriously, how wrote this stupid list._

_I bet this was one of Edward's brilliants ideas. Just for make him go mad I star to imagine Emmett and I all over Edward's Volvo, doing thinks that's maybe inappropriate for his little mind._

-Don't even think about it- said Edward with his crazy eyes_, oh my Gosh, why it's Bella so in love with him? His so crazy, masochist, and mind reader freak. Yes, the genius being this freaking list it's, the stupid mind reader, Edward._

-Keep reading Rose- said calmly Carlisle, _just because he ask me, I'm gonna keep doing this stupid thing._

**Have a private moment in Alice's Porsche.**

_Mmm, the Porsche, that's new, it will be fun, really fun._

-No way Rosalie Hale- yelled Alice.

-That's my wife!!!!- yelled my sexy Husband cheering me up._ Maybe we will try._

**Have sex in Bella's old room.**

-What's wrong with you people? - I was shock.

-I heard him thinking about it. - Edward said.

-Really Emmett? - I ask to my husband, _I already know the answer, but I want to hear it._

-Maybe- said Em, _I rolled my eyes, and he's so cute, I can't be mad with him._ - But just because I was totally bored-

-Freak- said Jasper. _Stupid twin._

**Dye Jacob's hair.**

-We just want to give him a bit of style-

**Call Mike Newton Golden Retriever.**

-But Bella can? – I ask- it's because we just can have one a dog at a time?-

-Yes Blondie- _and the Dog talk-_ YOU ARE the only Golden Retriever of the Family. -_ I'm so kicking his ass. Stupid dog._

**Mess with Ms. Cope because she is a little bit obsesses with Edward's little bud.**

-Is SHE? - Ask Bella, I nodded- OMG, but she is so old!-

-Technically- said Edward- I'm older than she is.

**Ask Jessica and Lauren if they inspired Pink to write Stupid Girls.**

-Why not? – Emmett asks.

-Because that's mean- Bella said, _always so nice._

-But their were mean to you- I replay.

-So?-

-Fine- I rolled my eyes, _to nice of Bella, she's too nice, and I know that._

**Ask Lauren if she really thinks that she does gone be a **

**famous model with that ugly face.**

-And I ask again- said Emmett- Why not? - He can't believe why he can make fun of those stupid brats's.

-Because that's mean- said Bella again.

- Your TO Nice Bella- I said

**Talk about Bella's and Edward's sex life.**

-THAT isn't funny any more- my husband said, I nodded; _it was funny when they get mad about it, but no any more._

**Curse in French, Spanish, Russian or any other language in Nessie's present.**

-Don't you dare to do that Emmett- I point my finger to my husband.-

-I never course in front of Nessie, God what kind of Uncle you think I am? - he said -That's Jacob's work-

-What? - Edward yelled. _OMG this it's gone be so damn good._

-Daddy- star Nessie- Jacob never course in front of me- _and my niece kill my fun._

**Say that you Bring the Sexy Back.**

-Don't be jealous about us- I said, and all of them give us a weird look. _Hatters_

**Ask Renne if she wants to adopt us.**

-Why not?-Emmett ask again- Renne and Phil will totally love us!!! Even more than they love Bella and Eddie, we are better looking- _totally agree with my husband, don't offence Eddie._

-Shut Up!!!- Bella and Edward yelled at the same time, _OMG Did THEY just YELL to MY HUSBAND?!!!!_

**Said that Jasper is the Ugly, Fat and Mean Twin.**

-Bro- said Emmett – I will Never said that- _Did I just was been stab by my own husband? Keep talking Emmett Cullen and say good bye to my bed for a week, Edward I know that your listen please don't say a word. _He just nodded once and Alice smile_. –_That was one of Rose idea's, I don't have anything to do with that-_ My Husband its so death. _I just keep smiling to him. _So death Emmett._

**Have a bumper sticker with the next legend. **_**Humans are friends, NOT FOOD.**_

**-**Rose- he calls me- we have to do this- and he gives me a big smile. _Stabber Husband_

**-**No you can- said Carlisle- it's on the list-

**Officially declare the third Friday of every month Lap Dance Day.**

-I not agree with this one- said Bella, _Gosh Bella, the saint, wants a Lap Dance? This is gone be good._

-I'm agree with Bella- said Emmett, _poor hubby, he doesn't know that he isn't gone to have any fun time for a week, maybe two, I'm so mean, I love myself…_

-Do you want a Lap Dance my love? - Edward obviously asks to Bella.

-Yes Eddie-pooh, I Want a Lap Dance- said my stupid Husband, _ok just for that it's just a week for detention. _Everybody star to laugh, _well everyone except Eddie Pooh._

**Sing Move Bitch to Lauren.**

**-**I'm not gone said nothing- _I just can't believe my family, this one was Bella's idea I know,_ and Edward nodded. _I know it, I have to have a time with Bella she had to have a bonding time with me, and see why so good the Vendetta is. _Edward gives me his weird look, _if you don't want to know what the heck I'm thinking just five words, STOP READDING MY MIND, dumbass._

**Proclaim that Jacob is Nessie's Bitch.**

-But HE is- exclaims Jasper, _the chill dude it's correct._

-No he is NOT- exclaim Nessie. _Come on he is totally your bitch, Nessie._

-Ha ha- said the dog- you see chill kid, I'm not his bitch. - _Freak dog. Stupid dog. _

-Shut up Jake- said Nessie. _I love this girl/vamp._

-Yes Nessie- said the dog, I mean Jacob. _Whipped._

-Whipped and Collared- said Jasper, _so true ugly twin._

**Act gangsta Style.**

-But I'm a Gangsta- said Emmett _Oh My Gosh not again that gansta stuff_ and he star to dance and sing_ This is why I'm HOT_

_-_This is why I'm hot, this is why I'm hot, this is why this is why this is why I'm hot- he "Rap" at the top of his lungs, _oh god thanks that is not at school, that is just or family that is seeing this, stupid Edward stop laugh at my husband._

-Emmett, stops please- I said. - I never act "Gangsta Style"- _I never act like that._

-Well you act one time like a Chola- said Alice,_ like a what? _– You love that song, Lean like a Chola- _Oh Yes I Love that Song Lean like a chola, living la Vida loca, I'm so gone heard it when I get back to my room._

**Use Voodoo Dolls.**

-Do you really use voodoo dolls? – Bella ask

-Oh yeah several times- I said, _I love my voodoo dolls, I know its weird but I really think that they work, well actually they don't work at all, by the way, I have one how looks like Jacob._- well I cant use it, but that doesn't mean that I cant keep them?- _oh come on they are so cute_.

-You can keep it- said Esme- but they can't be out of your room- and I jump to hug her.

-Thanks mommy I love you so much-_ and I do, I really love Esme, she isn't like my mother, she IS my Real Mother._

-Oh, mom- said Emmett- can we put the ugly dolls on the basement? Pretty Please!!!- And he use his beautiful eyes against Esme, _what a chicken, he doesn't like my dolls, because he said that one time one of my dolls follow him, what's wrong with him? They don't move, or they do?_

-Fine- Esme gives him a big smile- the ugly dolls go to the basement. - _Note to my self, my husband is spoiled chicken._

**Tell people that Volterra it's infesting with Zombies.**

-Emmett you shout totally do that- said Jasper _AKA Chill kid, better know like the fat, ugly twin. _

-Do you realize that you are giving him ideas? - I ask to my family.

**Make plans to invade Spain.**

-Why do you both want to invade Spain? - Ask Nessie.

-Because Spain deserves to be invaded- replay the chill dude. _Stupid fake fat twin._

-Hell Yeah!!- Said Emmett, _stupid husband. Why God? Why?_

**Create a Cult with Emmett.**

-Do you realize that this shout be in Emmett's and Jasper's List?- Ask Edward, _Finally someone recover his mind_- Rosalie it's the good one- _ok Edward you are scaring me, why your been nice with me?_- Don't be fool, you're my sister and I know that your not stupid.

**Try to sell Alice's clothes at the fair. Again **

**-**Don't you dear to do that again- Alice yelled at us, _man she's got issues._

**-**Come on Alice- Said Emmett- that was just old clothes, actually that was summer clothes.

**-**Yeah Alice- I said- calm down, and remember if we sell your clothes, that means that you can go and buy more new clothes- and then she give me a big smile, _its so easy to make Alice happy, just give her what she wants. It sounds easy, but isn't, I love my Sister, but some times she goes crazy. _

**Say to little children's I ran with scissors, and lived!**

-This one doesn't apply to you Rose- Said Esme- You are very responsible and you will never said something like that to little children's- _Esme Rock's note to my self buy that gorgeous necklace from Tiffany's to Esme. _

**Call Jasper "The Little Princess of Forks"**

-I will never call you like that bro – Said Emmett, _ones again I was been stab by my own husband._

-I write this one- said Alice- because I have a vision, I the vision You Emmett Cullen call him like that, not Rose, YOU_- Ha Ha, take that Emmett._

**Have a Karaoke party.**

-This one it's because Emmett doesn't know how to sing- said Jasper.

-Yes I do-

-No you don't- _my Twin and my husband are like kids, annoying kids._

**Have a Tea Party.**

**Hit Jacob with a rolled newspaper.**

-I write this one- said Nessie, _and she stabs me again, she knows that I enjoin hit her dog with my French Vogue._

-Thanks Nessie- said the dog, Jacob – I love you- and he kiss her _Eeeeew!! If I was human I will vomit. _

**Set anyone's car on fire.**

-We already said that we sorry- I said, _come on they have to let go, we are immortals_.

**Kidnap and torture Mike Newton.**

-But I like this one- Said Edward, _I knew it, Eddie its down with everything that involves Mike and pain _and he nodded _Eddie your now my favorite brother, you know that =D_ he smile and nodded again.

-I'm agreeing with **Eduardo**-said Jasper, _he just calls Edward __**Eduardo**__ to piss him off._

-Jasper- reply Edward- thanks for the support and please stop with the Eduardo thing, ok – he almost yell but Bella put her hand on his harm.

-But that's your name, **Eduardo**- said Jasper putting a really cute puppy eyes.

-No, that's not my name-reply Edward a bit more angrily. _Yeah this gonna be a fight, OMG did I just think that, that's not me, that's more Emmett's thought, oh boy! I know why I'm thinking like this, it's because since the Vulturi's came we really don't have any thing important or exciting._

-Well it's your name in Spanish- said Jasper.

-But we are not in Mexico or Spain- said Edward. – And according to my fake birth certificate my name its EDWARD, not EDUARDO, ok. - _my brother's are like little children's_

**Play true or dare with out parental supervision. **

-But its so fun- Reply Jasper, _and its true, we rock in True or Dare, that's a fact. _

-I'm agreeing with Jasper- said Edward, _What?! Mister Mind Reader its agree with this, ok he its really bored to._ And he nodded, _I knew it, I'm not the only one who it's getting crazy. _

-I love true or dare, I vote that we shout delete this one from the list- said Alice- oh better, from all the list's – _Yeah! Alice always has great ideas._

-No- Said Carlisle and Esme at the same time. _They just yelled to us. _

**Give to Nessie "The Talk" **

-I don't need that they give me "The Talk"- Said Nessie- I already have a lot of information, and I see a lot of DVD'S that I found in the garage.

-What kind of DVD'S are you found? - ask Edward.

-Well they were in a big box that said "Emmett big box of Porno"- said Nessie in an innocent and cute little tone.

-WHAT? - Edward, Bella and the Dog, (Jacob) yelled at the very same time.

-What the heck?! I don't have a box of porn- said Emmett – tell them Rose-he begged and I nodded, _he doesn't have a box of porn in the garage, we have it on our bedroom._ And then Jasper star to laugh, he did it, _he disturb my little niece mind with dirty and cheap porn, I'm so killing my fake fat ugly twin. _

-But that wasn't porn- said quickly Jasper- they were really sex educative DVD's,-

-Stupid Chill fake twin- I said.

- C'mon- he said- you don't really believe that I will be THAT stupid and irresponsible with Nessie, she is my niece to and I care about her and Edward its freaking me out because he doesn't know how to speak about Sex to Nessie.-

-Its really hard to speak about that- said Edward.

-Well, if is hard for humans, who have more time, imagine how hard its for Edward that just got like five years to visualize about that, and knowing that he is a fresh ex-virgin- and all off us star to laugh, except Edward, Bella, Nessie and Jacob, _because he's a virgin to. Well I like to think that he is. And I know that Edward and Bella like to think that to. _

**Call Tanya "The Man Staler" Denali**

-But she is- I said, _she tries to stale Emmett and Edward, and I'm pretty sure that she makes a move with Carlisle and Jasper, with Jacob not because she doesn't like puppies. _

-She is from our family Rose- said Esme- and we have to respect her, just like she is. –

-I like Tanya-said Bella- But if she tries to make a move with you, again, that will be the last move that she will do-

-I'm totally with you sister- I said, and she give me a big smile.

-Me to- said Alice.

-I like Tanya to, but I'm with you girls- Said Esme. _Yeii Cullen Girl's Rule =D Tanya You Are So Down, Edward stop with the weird looks on me. _

**Said Voldemort just to freak out Jasper. **

-But is fun- Said Jacob, you know the dog. _It's kind of bizarre, but I'm agreed with the dog, I just hope that this not become a trend._

-It sounds weird, but I'm agreed with the Dog, I mean Jacob_- God give me a break, all my family members give a weird look. _

-No its not FUN- said Jasper.

-Jasper, - I stared- Voldemort- he screams, _weirdo_- He is NOT REAL, it's just a character-

-What's wrong with Vold…- star Bella- I mean You-Know-How?

-I'm not gone tell you, - he said, _come on twin, we have a mind reader in here_- you gone a laugh at me-

-Jasper- I said – We are your family, we always laugh at you, it's our job.

-C'mon Jasper- said Emmett- we are your family-

-C'mon-

-Just said it son-

-It's just that he is son mean- all of us look at him, _are kidding me? He is the Villain of the movie_- Ok, he has red eyes, and – he looks really nervous – He… has… no…nose, and he is so mean to Harry, and Harry is, is such a nice kid-_ he looks like he's gone cry, poor crazy, fake twin. _

- Uncle Jasper, You know that THEIR don't even exist- Said Nessie

-I know, but it's so sad- Jasper reply, and then Alice hug him, _its official, my fake twin it's_ _going through male menopause__._

**Create a duo of super heroes called Vampman & Vampgirl. **

-Why not? - Said Emmett- we have every thing, the strange, the looks, the money.

-Superheroes are a myth- said Carlisle- like vampires.

-But we just want to have some fun- I reply, _some times Carlisle act to much like a father._

-I said No-

**Scream "Carlisle is in the Hospital" every time that they visit him at the hospital.**

-Do you realize that that doesn't even funny? - Emmett asks, I nodded.

-I'm agreed with Emmett- I said

**Call Aro "The Mind Rapist" **

-But he is- said Edward. And all of us nodded.

-Like you- I said.

-I can control it- he said, given me he's weird look, again.

-whatever!!-I said- well that's it, now whose next? - And nobody answer. _Stabbers _

-I know, the next ones will be Alice and Jasper- Said Nessie.

**Soo how bad it was?**


End file.
